She’s Off Her Meds

Posted 3/2/22

By Brian G. Schommer Three, twenty-eight, ten, forty-three… if this were a football game, you might be expecting “hike, hike” to follow. Maybe it is some of the winning numbers in the next …

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She’s Off Her Meds


By Brian G. Schommer

Three, twenty-eight, ten, forty-three… if this were a football game, you might be expecting “hike, hike” to follow. Maybe it is some of the winning numbers in the next Powerball drawing. Sorry folks, these are the temperatures at 6am on February 17th through the 20th of 2022 in the City of Minneapolis. If you were unaware simply by living through the ups and downs of Mother Nature, here is proof that she is completely off her medication and if the dumping of snow February 22… you know, “twosday” (2/22/2022) is a sign, she may not be back on them yet. Have no fear faithful readers, “Dr. Outdoor Adventures” has a prescription that may just help.

Some may be saying, “get out of town, you are no doctor” and that is true on both accounts. I am not a doctor, nor have I ever played one on TV and YES, get out of town is exactly the medicine to cure any illness, or at least ill-feelings you have towards our current weather pattern. I am not just saying that you flee the comfy confines of Hastings, Cottage Grove or anywhere in the vast Pierce County area but rather, leave our beloved “Minnesconsin” if only for a long weekend. Go to a place where you can hang by the outdoor pool or even sit on the sandy shores of a beach. Let the sun do a little dance on you but be careful, our “Scandahoovian” type skin does not do well in early spring and a nice dose of SPF100 might not be a bad idea. It might come down to one of those “afford it” questions. I get that and like I often say, is it “I cannot afford to do it” or “I cannot afford NOT to do it.” If you just cannot swing a trip to Arizona, Texas, Florida, or other warmer destinations that seem to be quite popular this time of year, fake it.

Yes, I said fake it. Find a hotel that has a nice indoor pool, hot tub and maybe even a good place to eat close by. When you are in the hotel room, make sure your radio or Alexa is set to music with great summer tunes. Might I suggest some Jimmy Buffett and while you are at it, make sure you have some of that Coconut Rum and other spirits that help you create a frozen concoction that helps you hang on. If there is a sunlamp in the bathroom, turn it on for a little extra heat. Be sure to bring beach towels and a few posters of tropical places to put over the window so you do not see the snow. When you venture to the pool, be sure to wear your sunglasses to ensure the utmost “I’m not in the frozen north” experience possible. Flip flops on your feet with tootsies in full exposure is the icing on the cake. Oh, I am so sorry, I used the word ice. Let us go with “cherry on the top.” Fruit is obviously much more tropical by nature. For dinner, go with something like a coconut shrimp, mahi-mahi or even a nice salad of spring greens, fruit, and a nice vinaigrette. Just fake it until you make it a great little getaway to a warm destination. All you need to do is take the trolley at Mr. Rogers house to the “Land of Make Believe.” Be sure to say hello to King Friday.

While you are reading this column, I will be in Arizona with my lovely bride acting on the very prescription the good “doctor” ordered. The young adult kids will be happy to have the house to themselves and because we trust them and have a strong neighborhood watch in place, have no fear of any calls from the local LEO’s regarding any crazy parties. A round of golf, a little time in Sedona and some relaxing with some snowbird family members of ours is the plan. It is a good bet that somewhere during the vacation, inspiration for an upcoming column topic or two will emerge. Spring gets closer and closer each day and if Mother Nature gets back on her meds, will be here soon. Until then, get away for a bit if you can or take the trolley and fake it. Just be sure to “Get Out and Enjoy the Great Outdoors” if you are able.