I hate COVID and cold weather

Saturday afternoon, I was inspecting the ceiling from the comfort of my couch, when I was struck by a lightning bolt.

Most weeks, the genesis of this column comes upon me from nowhere, and 15 minutes and a flurry of activity from my fingers later, and it’s a wrap. That’s a high-powered technical term that we big-shot writers use to tell the waiting newsroom, production staff and pressroom that we’re ready to print.

Unfortunately, I tried to do two things at once, and that incredible idea, that award-winner is gone with the wind that is whipping through my office walls a mere 28 hours later. I fought the urge to get off the couch, which is about 15 feet from where my computer is situated, and I am suffering from that decision. It seemed at the time that science got the best of me. My long-term research on the intricate details on that ceiling (and also on the inside of my eyelids), has precluded me from offering you a prized piece of journalism. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.

It might not be this week, though. I’ve wracked my brain for more than a day to try to remember that incredible idea. I wonder how many times that happened to Einstein. Not that I’m quite in his league, but I’ll venture to guess that he had a whole notebook scribbled with things that “e” equalled before he come up with the “mc-squared” thing. That’s what I’m battling today.

I’ve tried all my memory tricks, to the point where I even returned, albeit briefly, to the scene of the crime and tried to make my whole environment the same as it was. I felt refreshed, but the idea still eludes me.

Here are some things I did come up with, however:

•People who say they won’t get the vaccine for COVID-19 are nutty. This is how we eradicate illnesses. Thank goodness there weren’t some conspiracy kooks around when we were trying to get rid of smallpox and polio. Get the shot and shut up.

•My wife has done 100 percent of the Christmas shopping this year. Isn’t’ that cool? I have yet to step into a store, leaving me more time for that important couch research.

•I’ve about had it with people griping about the economy. Let’s do something about it! A lot of businesses are in tough shape right now. You have time to do some last-minute shopping. Do it here at home!

•The two things I hate the most right now are COVID and cold weather. Is there a vaccine against cold weather?

•I’ll miss seeing a lot of family this Christmas, but it’s still going to be a great holiday. It’ll be a day to make new memories.

I can assure you that I am taking precautions to make sure that you aren’t forced to read a mediocre column ever again. My notebook is next to the Lazy Boy.