Outdoor Adventures

By Brian G. Schommer

I am not sure if anyone else agrees with me but, making a Christmas List gets more and more difficult with each passing year. I think a big part of it for me is that after almost 54 years of accumulating stuff, I pretty much have what I need and most of the “wants” as well. The “want” list often overflows into the “no funds for that, pal” list as sometimes my tastes might be a bit more extravagant than the checkbook allows. Like Mom said more than once to me growing up; “You have caviar taste on a tuna fish budget.” Well, to be honest, I am not a fan of either of those and will take a nice Walleye filet or a plate full of Sunnies or Crappies over them any day of the week. Fact is, making my Christmas list per regular requests of my family, which borderlines on nagging, gets more and more difficult every year, and I think I am starting to realize why.

In addition to the “champagne taste on a beer budget” (a much better analogy) which tends to limit the items on the list, the reality is, I am quite satisfied with my life. Another Mom comment is; “It could always be better, but it could also be worse. Be happy with what you have.” The things I want the most the last several Christmas Seasons are not material goods. Sure, there are a few things I could use for the music room in the house and any sentimental, well thought out “trinkety” things always puts a little tear in the eye of this chubby 5’6” teddy bear. Things that have a way at reminding me of the days gone by with those no longer with us really get the waterworks going. I am past the “big present” stage and truly believe another “Momism” about “the little things in life is what matters the most… appreciate what you have and be grateful.” Just for fun though, I am going to make a “Christmas List” (none, and I mean NONE of which I will get) and publish it right here for all to see. If anyone gets the urge, feel free to prove me wrong on the “not going to get it” claim.

For those wondering, I wear a size 2021 Ford F-150. Now, I am a bit of a bigger guy so the Extended Cab option would certainly be a preference, if not a requirement. My current towing needs are a 14’ fishing boat and a single-space snowmobile trailer for the 2015 Polaris Indy Adventure. However, a double-space enclosed snowmobile trailer with a 2021 Polaris to sit next to my current sled would be an awesome upgrade and addition. I wear the same size vehicle in Chevrolet and Dodge, and to be honest, would not be upset with any of them. There is one “slight” issue though, as I am a bit shorter and grew up driving small cars, I found when I did own a truck, I hit things… and not just once or twice. This ruffles my insurance agent’s feathers more than you might imagine (despite being married to her). I did okay with my old Ranger, but I am pretty sure they are not making those anymore… possibly a 2021 Ford Bronco instead? It is all up to whoever might choose to not give me any of these wonderful gifts.

Any hunter knows the equation that answers the following question: “How many firearms do you need?” There is always a chance that a few may not have been taught this simple equation, so in the Christmas Spirit, here you go, and, you do not have to be good at math to understand. N+1 = Need. N equals the number of guns you already own and the plus one equals your need. So, how many shotguns, rifles and other firearms I have in my gun cabinet is not the question, it is the sum of N. The correct answer for the equation is what is the “plus one” when added to the Sum of N equals. For me, that +1 could be a Weatherby 18i in either a 12 gauge or 20 gauge. This gun retails around $1,100 but if there any Santa’s Helpers out there that have connections with Benelli… the Super Black Eagle 3 would be awesome for an additional $1600 or so. I am not picky about stock finish but, I do shoot right-handed and prefer a 3 ½ inch chamber for Turkey and Waterfowl hunting. According to my wife, I have more than enough guns in the cabinet, but again, if one is using the well-known and accepted (by hunters all over the world) equation, I must “need” at least one more.

Did you know that the equation used for firearms by hunters is also used by musicians and, as luck has it, I just happen to be a musician, too? Most musicians “specialize” and focus on one instrument or another but, I am not like most musicians. Heck, I am not like most any person… I pride myself on being unique. Musically, I started a LONG time ago as a drummer and then added trumpet to the mix. Several of us realized that our athletic prowess would not be what “got us the girls” so we decided to form a “band” and, we hit somewhat of a roadblock. My buddies Mike (Borash) and Rob (Quam) were also drummers and Kevin (Rotty) was a guitarist. Mike also played guitar, piano and probably any other instrument you put in front of him. Rob was starting to sling the guitar as well. We had an old organ collecting dust that Mom let me bring to the Borash compound where we “jammed,” and I quickly became a self-taught keyboard player. Add a bass player like Pat Dempsey into the mix and we had a band. Each of the names listed all play multiple instruments to this day… we have to jam again soon! I may as well ask for a bass guitar as the one hanging on the music room wall needs some repair. The saying is, “if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” It is broken so, why not ask for a new one? How about a Lakland USA 55-94 Deluxe Buckeye Burl. With a case and some accessories, it will run a bit over $5,000. If a Lakland is good enough for Jamie van der Hagen, the bassist for the Jake Nelson Band, well then, it is good enough for me. I am sure there are less expensive models but, considering I am not going to be getting it, why not?

I told you that I have some extravagant tastes when it comes to the big things. It is so easy for me; and I think for many of us, to let the “Me Attitude” overtake our choices, as our society is generally quite self-focused. So often, we are told we need to “take care of number one.” This year, instead of the “Me Attitude,” I am more focused on one of “Beatitudes.” Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I know that many of us are hurting right now. Many people are dealing with the Covid-19 virus either directly or having family and friends who are sick while others have lost loved ones either due directly to the virus or due to existing health issues that Covid-19 led to an expediated loss of life. Either way, the surviving friends and family are mourning and the times we are in are often more sad than happy. Beyond this, many mourn the loss of friendships due to the somewhat sudden inability to be willing and able to accept others as friends who have different beliefs and opinions. One of the most heart wrenching things for me is that I have seen families divided due to this, and I know that I am not alone. So, if I must make an actual Christmas List, as my family has been on me to do, here it is. None of the items listed in this column would be more better than this… I want to be given an abundance of comfort that I can share with all those who mourn. Many of my friends will add the word “Southern” in front of that, but as we know, sometimes this can create even more problems. I want to be able to ALWAYS accept others based on their actions and, regardless of any differences we have in opinions and beliefs. I also want to be able to share this ability with others so they too can help make the world more accepting of others. I want the people that I meet to smile because of something I said or did. This is what I want for Christmas this year and from what I can see, it starts with me.

I guess there is one thing I would like, but again, nobody reading this column will be able to get it for me. SNOW. I want SNOW and measurable enough to get the snowmobile out and create many new outdoor adventures. Hopefully none of which include getting stuck in a drift, falling off the sled or hitting a tree. A keynote here is that I have only done one of those three, but I have done it multiple times. If you are curious as to which one, be sure to read next week’s column. Until then… get out and enjoy the great outdoors!!