By Bruce Karnick

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The holidays are here, people are stuff from Thanksgiving and bank accounts are empty or credit cards are full from Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday yet, it feels as if something is missing. You have been kicking around the idea of a new pet for a while now, but what? You want something easy, quiet, clean, you know, simple! Most of us have some experience with a dog or cat, probably a hamster at some point, maybe even a parakeet, but you are thinking… different… Let me get this out of the way right now, yes, I love dogs. Cats are ok too, so save the angry email. I am not here bashing on them. In fact, if you are looking for a cat or dog, do not go to a pet store, go to Animal Ark or another shelter and adopt one or three from them!

I am here to talk to those folks that are thinking more exotic. The people think an exotic pet is less work or somehow easier than a dog or cat. The people that think “I won’t have to put up with hair all over or the nasty litter box or cleaning up the yard in the spring, YUCK!”. You are right, you will not, but can you deal with bugs? Mice? You will still have to clean up poop, and sometimes it is much smellier than a dog or cats.

What kinds of exotic pets am I talking about? You know, the ones you walk past the cages in the pet store and think “OH MY GOD THAT IS AN ADORABLE DRAGON LOOKING THING!!!!” Bearded Dragons, Turtles, Snakes, Geckos and so on. Reptiles. Reptiles are a cool pet to have, I am not going to lie. But they are not “easy” pets. The husbandry can be complicated to learn and expensive to set up properly. One setup might work great for one species and that same setup may cause serious health issues for another reptile. Feeding them is, well, and entirely different experience, and not as simple as dropping a bowl of kibble on the floor and walking away.

In December of 2019, I became a bearded dragon owner. I “rescued” Gizmo from a family member that did not have the ability to care for him anymore. The problem is, Gizmo was cool and interesting for a while for the kids in the family, but the kids outgrew him. I fear they did not know the actual life span of a bearded dragon, maybe they thought it would be like a hamster and only live 4 or 5 years, I don’t know. Two weeks ago, when I wrote this, he was 11. The hope I had was he could live to be 15 or older. Sadly, he did not. Gizmo passed away Tuesday the first. It still is just as heart wrenching as losing any other pet, maybe more so now due to all the factors going on in the world contributing to our lack of social interaction. I stated in my post on social media that I never thought a creature so small could capture the heart of a 47-year-old, but he did. Knowing how attached I became too him in under a year tells me just how horrible it had to feel for his original family giving him up but knew it would be better for everyone involved if they did. So, I took him. They gave me what I thought was everything I needed to care for him. It was the setup they had been using his whole life. Turns out, it was barely adequate in many ways, and unfortunately damaging in other ways, they were doing what they were told by people they thought to be experts. More on that later.

Life span and size of common reptile pets: This is where researching is so important. Some reptiles, like bearded dragons live anywhere from 3-16 years. Usually in the 10-15 range if properly cared for. They can grow as big as 16 to 22 inches in length nose to tail. They start out three to four inches in length and are full grown within a year. That means as babies and juveniles, they eat, a lot. 20 to 30 crickets or Dubia roaches a day minimum. Some can eat up to 50 a day. At $.10 to $.14 per roach, that adds up really fast, unless you create your own colony. As a bearded dragon matures, the diet starts to change from 80% protein/ 20% greens as a baby/juvenile to mostly greens as an adult, so feeding does become much less expensive as they get past the year mark.

One way to offset the food cost is to start your own Dubia Roach colony, but Dubia colonies are a whole different ball game. People can develop serious allergies to them if they are not careful, some people get the heebie jeebies just thinking about having one roach in their house, now think about having a thousand or two. Plus, you then must maintain multiple habitats.

Common Leopard Geckos stay relatively small, topping out around 11 inches. These critters can also live up to 15 years when kept properly. A gecko’s diet is similar to a young, bearded dragon, mostly protein.

A Ball Python average life span is 20-30 years and even though they are the smallest of the nonvenomous constrictors, they still grow up to five feet long. These critters get bigger critters to eat, usually mice. Bigger snakes may even get a small rabbit for food.

Red Eared Slider Turtles are one of the most popular turtle pets. These hardy turtles can live 50+ years and grow to 12 inches in length! The lifespan and size can require a larger tank and over time they can become expensive to care for because of cleaning and feeding. Because of this, they have become an invasive species in Minnesota due to being released in to the wild.

Take these lifespans into account when you look at getting little Johnny or Little Suzie a reptile pet. If your child is ten, you will be the one taking care of the reptile in eight years when they go off to college. You will be the one feeding mice or roaches or worms or crickets or fish. You will be the one bathing, cleaning the habitat and everything else for their pet.

Ok, you are cool with that you say. Great. The first thing I will tell you that I have learned from the various groups on Social Media that I have been a part of for nearly a year. DO NOT rush out and just buy a reptile from a pet store. Seriously, do not do it. Odds are the employee you deal with will have minimal, inaccurate training around the reptiles they sell, and they will sell you the wrong stuff for your potential new family member. Figure out what reptile best suits your situation. What social level do you want with your pet? Do you want one that can be out and handled a lot? Do you want one that primarily stays in its habitat? Each species is different for its social behaviors. Remember, how I said that Gizmo’s habitat was barely adequate? This is exactly why; the family member listened to a chain pet store and used the wrong UVB light and used a red light for a source of night heat. They did not know better, neither did I, but I am glad I am an over thinker when it comes to this kid of stuff. What I found out is Bearded Dragons require more UVB than a curly UVB bulb provides and they also require no light at night, especially no colored lights, so I had to make some changes. On the flip side, Geckos, Snakes, Turtles and so on all require different setups for light, heat, and humidity. There are so many variations for each species, the one size fits all approach of the big chain stores is their downfall to reptiles.

The best thing you can do is, do some research well ahead of time, then do some more, just to be sure. Join Facebook groups that cover the specific family of reptile you are wanting to learn about, ask questions. They will not steer you wrong. Read what other new owners post and see how the group responds. The folks in the group I am in for Bearded Dragon care are mostly awesome. They have an amazing amount of real-world knowledge and patience. They genuinely want to see your new family member not only survive but thrive. Take their advice on habitat setups. Lighting, heat, humidity, hides, basking, decorations, feeding… I could go on and on.

Look for reputable breeders in the area. Pet store reptiles are kept in habitats that cover the absolute minimal care for them. This can lead to vitamin deficiencies, infections, and parasites. Remember, these employees at the big chain stores get their information from above the store level and there is only so much they can do.

Find an exotic veterinarian in the area. Many vet clinics only serve dogs and cats, not reptiles. Diseases, disorders, injuries, medicines, anatomy, and general care for reptiles is very different than mammals, so a vet needs to have specialized in reptiles to care for them. The first thing most people do when they get a dog or cat is to take them to the vet. This gives a great baseline for future visits and ensures they are healthy, yet this is not something thought about with reptiles. So many of the posts from beginner beardie owners are “HELP! My beardie is acting weird now that he’s been home for two weeks.’ Many of those could be avoided with better planning up front, especially having the habitat setup, holding temp and ready a week before the animal arrives.

Folks, reptiles are awesome pets, and I am incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to get Gizmo. The little dude stole my heart for sure, I miss him a lot each day and yes, I do plan on getting another, when the time is right. The issue is, owning a reptile is not for everyone. They do take work, just like owning a dog or a cat, it is simply different work. They provide different love and companionship, different stressors and worries, it is, well, different. This article is not meant to scare you away, it is meant to get you to do two things, research, and research more. Spend the time ahead of time learning about the species you want, the equipment needed to care for that species, the proper setup of the habitat and all that goes with it so that you and your new companion can live happily ever after for the next 10-50 years. It is an endeavor I highly recommend for the right person.

As I sit here fighting back tears, thinking back on the goofy, the frustrating, and the adorable things Gizmo did, I realize how lucky I am to have had him the short time I did. How lucky I am that my aunt and cousins took the best care of him that they could so that I could have him for a short time. How lucky I am to have an outlet like this to share a little bit of the experience I gained, and how lucky I was to get those spiky cuddles when he wasn’t ready to go to bed yet. How lucky I am that you, the reader, has taken the time to read not only this story, but countless stories I have been able to write since joining the Journal. For that, and much more, I am beyond grateful.

Not one to end on a sad note, if this helped you realize you want a dog or a cat instead, please, PLEASE check out the amazing animal shelters we have in the area. Oh, if I may quote the great Bob Barker, “I’m here to remind you, help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered. Goodbye!”

Some exotics, like Bearded Dragons, have the goofiest personality and they are not afraid to show it. This is Gizmo fresh out of his weekly bath, obviously feeling good with that smile. Photo by Bruce Karnick

Like cats and dogs, some bearded dragons enjoy cuddles. Unfortunately, this was the last time to experience those cuddles. Photo by Bruce Karnick