This is the third and final part of the series of articles to help families have positive and constructive discussions around a difficult topic.
Part 2: November 28, 2024
Part 1 can be found in our November 21, 2024, edition, part 2 can be found in our November 28, 2024 edition and online at HastingsJournal.news
With the loss of my father in September of this year, as explained in part one of this thought process, it became clear to me that we really do not know what truly happens immediately after the death of a loved one. There are so many things that need to be taken care of on a plethora of levels. The planning of the funeral being the forefront of things, on top of processing the grief, making all of the legal changes for accounts and loans and property. Contacting retirement plans, insurance, cell phone company, etc. It is a lot, but the most important piece of this is being able to grieve.
With all those stressors and more, during the planning of my father’s funeral, the journalist in me wanted to write this series because I hope it will help you and your family start these conversations and make them a positive part of life to ease the burdens when the inevitable comes.
I sat down with Elise and Craig Schumacher from Starkson’s Family Life Celebration Chapel and Minnesota Memorials to talk about the benefits of funeral pre-planning. Elise is a licensed funeral director with over 13 years of experience, Craig recently made the career switch to work with Elise and start their own memorial production company.
Continuing the conversation over the holiday season.
The first two editions gave you the how and why to talk about pre-planning along with the tip to start the process by going through pictures to make it a more fun, positive and memorable experience. So, now, let’s talk about some of the ‘what’.
Aside from the basics of who you are, there are other bigger decisions to make along the way too. Burial or cremation? Where do you want the visitation held? Where will the funeral be held? What religion will be part of the ceremony, and do you have a specific member of their clergy you would like to lead the day?
If you are choosing a burial, do you have a family burial plot? Where is it? If you are choosing cremation, what kind of urn would you like to be in? What kind of photo or decoration do you want on the urn?
This other information can be a bit more mundane, and there is certainly more than what is listed above, but you can still have meaningful and fun conversations talking about extended family members. The way families ebb and flow and with everyone being so busy, some extended family members are not as well known to younger generations, so this can be a perfect time to talk family tree topics.
After some of the more mundane discussions, liven it back up with the positivity of picking out the music you want played. You will need a few songs for the ceremony itself and if you took advantage of the photo slide show option, you will need several songs for that. Like selecting the photos can create a deeper memory for your family members, you get to relive that feeling of hearing your favorite song again and sharing why it is important to your family.
What is the next step in the process? You have a start on the how, why, when and what, so what is next?
“The next step, after kind of getting those big details decided, would be to call and get an appointment with me or Craig Starkson, because we're going to sit down and look at what you have. We are going to ask a couple of other questions that may need to be filled in,” said Elise.
Then they help you decide which option you are going to go with. Pre-plan and pre-pay, pre-plan with no pre-pay, or pre-pay with no pre-plan.
“More often than not, people do both put together. So, what we would do is an estimate. If we did this whole funeral, we would think of cemetery charges, church fees, catering everything. We're going to show you what that's going to cost. You can actually put that money into an insurance policy that's going to grow interest in time, but it's also completely protected,” added Elise.
One of the advantages of creating this insurance policy is that the funds are protected from any estate calculations, another advantage is portability and flexibility. The policy comes with you if you decide to move south, and there is flexibility to add to the plan as prices increase or if you wish to add additional funds to cover additional expenses.
What if I live well past when the initial payment is made?
“We do this quite often too, where we do recommend, every 10 years, maybe call us after you've done your ‘let's look at things’ and just make sure there's enough money in that policy. But the beautiful thing about these policies is that interest is added to it, and that interest is meant to help to keep up with inflation. So quite often people have enough in their policies, sometimes even surplus than what that funeral may cost down the road,” explained Elise.
I said it in Part 1 of this mini-series, Starkson’s did a phenomenal job for us when my dad passed away. We would not have made it through this whole process with out them. I know, there are so many other great funeral homes out there, so if you have made a different choice, these things still apply there. If not, give Elise and Craig a call at Starkson’s Family Life Celebration Chapel to go over pre-planning. I know I wish my parents had done more of this kind of thing before dad passed, but I am not sure any of us ever put any thought into this. I know I did not actively realize that pre-planning is such a huge deal. So now, we need to take what we have learned and do these things with mom when she is ready.
A huge thank you goes out to Craig and Elise Schumacher for supporting this idea with their willingness to go over this process and help me organize my thoughts to write this story. I sincerely hope that this gives you the push to have those difficult conversations within your family, and I hope when it is all said and done, those that will grieve you, will also have a plethora of happy memories enhanced because of the opportunities discussed in this series.
I think this is where I will end this three-part piece. I am sure I will take one more look through the transcription that is over an hour long just to make sure I did not miss something that I wanted to include. If I find something, I’ll write a part three-b or some kind of addendum. Have a safe and happy holiday season.